Be a Narcissist!

I'm no relationship expert!

But I have, over some time, heard of and witnessed relationship "failures". My own two included. Left wiser? Maybe! Left happier? After a while, yes! Again, I'm no relationship expert!

But I have wondered what has been so fundamentally flawed with both men and women alike when in relationships? To me it has felt and does seem as if we are bypassing fairly simple matters in return for complicated, complex and downright broken relations. Big and not so great words from the eternal optimist I find myself to be!

Look, I could if I wanted to,  take a note from any spiritual "guru" whose disposition on failed everything (including relationships) is merely "a sign of the times". But then again I simply can't digest that notion when everything else about my approach to life screams great information and aid readily available for creating a bright Future - Now. Relationships, for me, is no exception to this.

A recent binge on Sex in the City reruns does make me momentarily feel like "Carrie Bradshaw" and while writing this, I am also reminded of Bill and Melinda Gate's recent newsletter which highlighted the clear positives of how technology, medical advancements and associated efforts from multiple organisations have impacted lives positively.  I then find myself asking why is it that relationships seemingly are an exception in this information accessible and solution filled era? I mean , unless I am missing some real relational complexities, it is now and more so than ever,  that we're able to communicate freely,  seek expert interventions, have personally considered and expert opinions, consider health alternatives to enhance vitality for ourselves and our choices, safely share on very personal psychological/physical/emotional concerns with counter solutions and processes readily available through consultation. So what am I missing?

More significantly, we're encouraged to be comfortable in our own, flawed yet beautiful skin. And for anyone who needs a bit more to get into the zone, additionally we have great skin care ranges and eating plans to assist your outer radiance goals.

So what's wrong or what's stopping us from being truly happy and with some level of effortless blending into a beautiful, significant and equally valued monogamous relationship?

Again, I'm no relationship expert.

In my opinion, I believe that there's bunch of other things that unintentionally gets in the way whether we know it or not.  Maybe negative personal experiences, childhood perceptions, low esteem issues,  feelings of guilt paired with feelings of unworthiness, unrealistic expectations, genuine lack of wanting to understand, selfishness ...and so the list could go on ...and on... and on!  (assured a girls night  out , a few glasses of wine - the relationship woes list fast becomes a full blown complaints manual!).

But again, in this day and age- where's the room for failed relationships?

From my own experience, I have come to learn that the more I worked on my own sense of self, my own accomplishments, my spiritual and personal growth, on sensing what fulfillment and individuality means to me - the less the need was to look for anything outside to add to my sense of worth. Not to say I wouldn't welcome a complementary, life long partnership which has both roots and wings.

My constant self checks to find the meaning of my life, my own journey with purpose and to live a fairly conscious/regret free life keeps me sanely focused. My business activities doesn't leave too much room to ponder too much either.

But all the Valentine's Day stuff, conversations with friends, complaints etc. warranted this dedicated post!

In a few parting words to both sexes, love yourself  and do so every day! Not just a birthday, not a Valentine's Day ...every day matters. And when you can't, there's processes and expertise so grab hold of that crutch till you can fly.

I'd even go as far as saying that you're allowed to be a narcissist in your approach of self value and self love. Especially when it's no longer compromise but it is instead a form of disguised abuse you're living with.

Again I am no relationship expert but this is what has helped many of my beautiful, smart and talented female and male friends (myself included) to pick up firmly after a "failed" relationship.

Love.

Marica