A families pain

I spoke extensively about a book launch I attended and I believe Femicide by SA Human Rights Commissioner Angie Makwetla is a book every female and male should read. Simply because I believe we all can relate in one way or another to the subject of abusive relationships. Be it in one or witness to many. Or maybe we all need to be cautioned in one way or another. Men and women alike needing  to understand the complexities and warning signs of spousal discord or the brewing of it.

I have watched a loved one for years get abused and so I could relate to the same pain I witnessed last night between all members of the deceased who had to speak about their murdered mom, sister, aunt and friend. A crime committed by their father and the kids struck with a double blow by the result of their parents choices.

So often, too often, I sit across women and hear how in one way or another they too are victims of Femicide. Be it in the form of financial dependency, emotional abuse or in clearly abusive relations which includes all this and more.

But it would also be deeply incorrect of me to not share that last night's audience included phenomenal men.  Men who were central to the dialogue and who were active in women and children support services roles. Then also very very successful businessmen who owned the subject of correcting these male induced atrocities.  I can't tell you how significant it is for men, many of these extremely successful and publicly respected men, to take the decision and a proactive stance to address matters of women abuse..and in a society that is deeply entrenched in it.

Women's vulnerabilities and compromised relationships is not something one can ever say they can see coming or know its happening until perhaps it's too late. A slap later, forgiveness after being cheated on and the excuses that come with that too. The blame game or the projecting of un-owned personal insecurities and troubles.

I am concerned.  I think about things deeply because I wonder and actually posed the question last night to the honorable South African Human Rights Commissioner, also the author of the book, on how to caution a women in this regard when the writings on the wall. When the blood stains could easily be too..

An answer we all were in conclusion of yet to find.

(Sifiso publishing we Thank You for the invitation)